Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The Path Ahead and Difficult Questions



It seems as if nearly every one of my friends is pondering direction at this point in time

reflecting, meditating, reflecting, open to the universe......

Perhaps, this is inevitable around the holidays and the birth of the New Year.

I, too, find myself pondering not so much the where but how.....

If you would have asked me some time ago what I thought about my journey back to the US to fulfill obligations and do presentations, I would have told you it has been tortuous and had aside from those events, perhaps, emanated mistake. More accurately now, I see that it has raised awareness, focus, determination and infinitely heightened the learning curve. It also encouraged me to step beyond my comfort zone and contact people through an ever expanding, ever revealing game of connect-the dots.

Danger has inevitably lurked all about me as I pressed on. That has been made perfectly clear. Yet, I perhaps more fully hear the voices that resound throughout the other 80% of the world, I feel their hearts, their disappointments, their subjugation at times and lack of self-determination and, of course, more prominently, the cries and tales of experience of the healers and those afflicted and affected by illness that within my mind resound. It is within these moments that my heart feels weighted and the burdens seem so heavy. I cannot turn and walk away and/or turn a blind eye to the value of each tale, each event, occurrence and/or quest. Sometimes, it requires immediate meditation and mediation, lightening and refocusing it on the whole. As I shift my attention once more and question possibilities, I cannot help but think and ask myself in the words of my friend Ashis , "What to do?" (We've traveled the path a while, always joined in spirit. through good and bad times, for which I am eternally grateful. )

Looking back, I need no reminders. As I revisit my experience in China at the Huai Hua Red Cross International TCM hospital and at the Chinese Medicine Academy/ WHO research center in Beijing, the path is clear. All roads lead back to the Motherland. Nearly every day it beckons. It pulls at my heart. There is still so much to be learned, so much knowledge and skill experienced, studied, taught and "translated." There is also the bridge that needs more construction not only between East and West but also between antiquity and present day. The latter of these, perhaps, more clearly elucidates the greatest difficulty.

After sifting through many notebooks and journal entries in Chinese and English and anything in between from the seven plus months I spent in China, midst people from more than 60 countries, the human condition and experience is clear. Suffering exists across cultures and genetics, as do beliefs and healing. Bodies react differently. Within the midst of it all, however, the accommodation and adaptations made by all these patients and their families draw my eye and attention. So, too, shines their courage, their joy, appreciation for the little things, for more open conversations and sharing, for community.

Even now, the hours spent with patients and professors speak tomes to me and continue to teach and enlighten me. Words cannot express my honour and gratitude for sharing in their pathways and for the heart to heart, soul to soul connections this time and work has yielded. It is and has been invaluable.

It is far from complete!

This fact, this truth, of course, propels me onto the path even farther, urges more study, more listening, more bridge building and education and even neutral ground. It requests still with more connectedness not only between and among medical and social science disciplines but also among people themselves. At its deepest level, it asks for us to look into life's mirror and see our own humanity with humility and love.


It begs us to honour the sacred within everyday life, to honour the earth, to honour each other, to honour the interactive human experience within the world, within the elements and with each other. It leads us back to center.

As I continue my exploration of illness and healing, working across cultures, space and time
it is always enlightening and humbling. I appreciate the efforts of so many persons within the Traditional medicine branch of the WHO and so many other branches such as Drug resistant TB for their time and attention, to the efforts large and small directed toward the marriage of healers and medicine so that Health for ONE/ALL will become a reality.

I appreciate the physicians and healers who have opened their minds and hearts, at times, cast aside their worldviews to understand the varied ways to see and treat illness and look forward to more collaboration, honour between professions and the sharing of collective knowledge. As Marissa would say, "Pray it forward."

Hasten the day!

For now, I am merely a weaver of paths of lives, not entirely of my own device but empowered and encouraged by a diverse group of peoples scattered around the world and the Dao/ the source beyond my control. In time, all paths and truths are revealed. This, I know. Waiting merely cultivates faith, hope, and patience and tills the soul. As I ponder the next steps, more specifically my path within China itself, I hold you all within my hearts, wishing you always the best of journeys filled with love and happiness.

Namaste,
湘君

Lessons of the Wolf

I would be remiss if I entered the New year without honouring the wolf, my companion, my teacher, my friend, sometimes, the master of my destruction, yet always leading me along the path, propelling inquiries, discoveries, engaging me in a global conversation and purpose I never intended and, of course, encouraging new levels of thought, of trust, faith. Yet, I cannot contain the smile!

Indeed, the wolf and I have done many battles--the most severe nearly every winter, reaching life threatening levels and harrowing depths. Yet, within the heart of each and every one of them, was embedded a lesson, a beacon, something that pulled me and saved me, despite the Arctic battleground.

At other times, it has rescued me and, inexplicably, allowed me to rest my head on its white paws and rest within the archway of her breast and abdomen.

Standing upon the cliff above, she has often served as a wake up call, summoning me on more than one occasion, somehow foreshadowing the impending danger if I turned and walked the other way.

Yet, one winter some years ago, war-torn and weary, as I struggled to maintain every breath, every heartbeat, fully engaged in meditation, I listened to the call and followed the path of her steps, consciously unaware of the course ahead. After ascending the cliff above, I exhausted my energy. An Arctic storm arose and she dragged me, literally. Nearly lifeless in this world and the next, she dragged me into the ice. Within it, I felt warm.

Nestled midst her cubs, I did not understand. Resting amid them and under them, she stood watch before settling in herself.
It was here, as I opened my eyes for a second or two at a time that I saw the Northern lights brightly streaming through the ice above, gentling filling the den with wondrous light, surrounding the cubs and highlighting the outline of each of them.


It was here within the den, that she nudged me and the sacred pact was made, beneath the twilight of the Northern lights, I found myself making promises, agreeing to tend to the wolf cubs, to nurture them, sustain and protect them along the unknown course. Little did I know we would be leaving so soon and that the next leg of the journey hastened.


Then within the den's opening appeared the dark wolf, her mate. Fearing it was the wolf who had previously attacked me, she assured me he was not the same. I stilled to watch and wait, tempering courage with trust. As he neared, i felt his spirit, stared into his eyes and instantly knew. Yet, he arrived with a warning.

Together we left the den and traveled for a while- the pack. Danger impended. Days later, my lovely wolf guardians ventured on, leaving me in charge. The wolf cubs and I tread along. Need I say, the path has never been the same?

I did not understand the depth or gravity of this shamanic journey then but I embraced it anyway. Do we ever fully know anything anyway?

It has been many years since then and I share the stories and their nuances freely, shamanic in nature, indeed. I could never have known where this would lead--that the wolfprints would lead me through lands and culture, across time and space, on a seemingly eternal quest, almost always requiring more than my personal best. It is the journey that is the reward, for it has encouraged and propelled me along to people and places beyond imagination to hearts and souls, experience and compassion and to seeing the world through eyes other than my own.

S'ung Manitu Tanka, I honour you for your strength and wisdom. It is with a sincere, awakened heart and mind that I express profound eternal gratitude for saving me, refining and carving me along the way. Wolfprints...wolfprints in my soul...we travel on to meet more people, touch more lives. Happy 2008!


Namaste,

湘君