Illness is a journey....

Anyone who has ever faced a long-chronic and/or life threatening illness through personal experience or close relations with someone affected, perhaps, knows this best.

Challenged by life alterations and accommodations, one looks into life's mirror and asks many questions. For some, illness seems like a betrayal. For others it is a fact of life. For some, it seems like punishment and for others it is a gift-- an opportunity to open to life, to love, courage, acceptance, a chance to grow, to explore, to be.

Indeed, illness has been all of these things for me at different times. Having battled lupus (SLE) and struggled to find balance with the "wolf" accompanied by other conditions such as scleroderma for more than forty years and realizing the miraculous cure of my Multiple Sclerosis (MS), I understand how these viewpoints, these facets, comprise a cycle. Release is attainable.

It is a journey of the soul, of the spirit of the heart and mind.

Tonight, as I ponder this, my thoughts turn to Diana my dear friend in England. She is an incredible gift to everyone she meets, a lighthouse and wellspring of hope, vivacity, courage and love. She embraces the gifts of illness and the path toward healing!

We met in Hunan, Huaihua, China at the International TCM hospital in the summer of 2006 and spent nearly two months together and then again spent time together there in the winter of 2006 and 2007. Her love for her three children and her quest for the cure for MS is clear. She is not afraid to look at her life and understand and learn whatever it teaches her.

I remember so many chats, both serious and schoolgirl in nature. I recall how she organized a viewing of "The Secret" (from thesecret.tv) for all the patients and anyone else who was interested. It is through the shared experience, within the circle of love that the circle of healing shown through.

Through our friendship and shared spaces within the hospital, we became closer. yet, I realize how she never became the the MS or simply let it define her. Over time, her spirit soared. I am privileged to have witnessed this! With every treatment I observed as a student and shared with her because of our friendship, with every ritual, we bonded. I feel her still!

She realized how life events affected her illness and the exacerbation thereof. She sought the path to true healing, always affirming that she would walk again. Yet, perhaps, the most poignant story she told me demonstrates the power of the mind, the spirit.

You see, her brother also suffered from MS. He was a very wealthy man. When he received the diagnosis and prognosis, he immediately set out to buy the best wheelchair money could buy. As she explained, from that day forward, he remained bodily confined within his wheelchair but also mentally and spiritually so for many years until his death just after her return home last year.

In contrast, when I think of Diana, I remember how she struggled to walk with assistance and did so as often as she could and how she overcame the exacerbation I witnessed last summer. I see just the opposite journey of her brother. So, too, I see how she moved passed the self-loathing and self-defeat many of us feel when confronted with an unfavorable prognosis. I see the courage, the acceptance, the softening to love and the opening of the heart/mind to all the riches the quest for her true healing would bring.

This brief glimpse of her, admittedly, doesn't do her justice but it illuminates her spiritual stamina, her inner beauty and the journey of a soul. I appreciate Diana much more than mere words could ever express and wholeheartedly pray this glimpse of her illness and steps toward healing touch your heart or someone else's. Her experience speaks tomes of wisdom and self-love. It not only shows how illness cultivates and frees the soul for the higher purpose.

Diana embodies that and so much more. I love you, Diana, from the bottom of my heart and am so grateful for the precious gift of your friendship and shared journey of illness and healing. Love to you and the kids, my dear. You are an amazing lady.

I hope this helps whomever reads my thoughts and thank-you for sharing a few moments and bridging divides. Wishing all readers and their loved ones love, courage, strength, health, happiness, and, indeed, true healing. Namaste, 湘君

On the precipice of decisions

Decisions.......What to do? In my mind, it sounds like this first--
决定，几个决定 怎么办？

Those of you who know me are probably smiling, knowing my mind is like this middle place for Chinese and English in thought, philosophy, medicine, all things:-)

I cannot apologize for something that just is. Rather, I choose to embrace it with gratitude, knowing there is meaning and purpose both unforeseen and unknown within it.

It is not what I intended but an unexpected and unintended consequence of the journey. Admittedly, is is often a pleasant one I welcome. Yet, when decisions are needed and questions arise considering the path ahead, I am pulled.

My heart lies with learning and discovering more healing while healing others and, of course, concomitantly healing and cultivating myself. For this is the heart of Chinese medicine and, indeed, true healing!

The goals I seek for the world, of course, intersect these thoughts and propel me even further into the global equation and engage learning and sharing on many levels--As Liz would say, "Aggregate wisdom," and Ashis would contend, "Collective knowledge." Both friends are amazing gifts within my life and often reframe the world before me, serving as additional lenses through which to view the world and resources for nearly every aspect. They are also warm islands of friendship and acceptance, love and spirituality--amazing humanitarians with their own paths. (Interesting how all paths lead to one!)

Still, it seems we all ask and meditate on the question, "How can I best serve?"

For me, certainly, many institutions within China beckon, as does the quest for more learning. As China negotiates its place for Chinese Medicine within the official world health system, perhaps, the world of "not only but also" has never called more loudly, more profoundly.

Ideally, I would like to serve as a cross-cultural bridge. In many ways I am, but in many ways I am still becoming. Aren't we all?